my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Michael Bay diarrhea
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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