why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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