Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
