There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
