im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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