if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
