My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
