I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
