Dude, just got a bummer.
A blow job from a homeless chick.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.