he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
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He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
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he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night