my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
