hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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