genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
