The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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