At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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