Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize