so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
