She said her name was "party"
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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