If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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