Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize