New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
