Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize