what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize