By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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