There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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