you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
