I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
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