it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
