I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
