i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
