Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I think we might need a safe word for this...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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