like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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