We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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