yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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