Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
