just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
