he was CRYING into my vagina
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
