Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
