i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
