I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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