Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
