Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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