Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
