"it" just moved
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
