I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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