Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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