Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
