guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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