I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i think i have two assholes
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
