If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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