Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
