Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
