frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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