I heard we made out
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Verdict: uncircumcised.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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