im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
