I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize