In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
