No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
