do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
