i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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