I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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